About the Department of Hot Gamer Girlfriend Acquisition

Mission Statement

Geeks represent a valuable knowledge resource for the United States of America. The majority of roleplaying and video gamers have above average intelligence and are highly creative, but lack many social skills and are socially inept when it comes to the opposite sex.

Therefore, it is the patriotic duty of the Department of Hot Gamer Girlfriend Acquisition to connect these males, the future of our country, to some hot chicks. If they do not breed, then eventually, the jocks will run the country... you know, those guys in highschool who kept looking over your shoulder to find out "what chu got fer the what-is-yer-name question".

Strategic Goals

The Department of Hot Gamer Girlfriend Acquisition’s mandate is being undertaken with these specific goals in mind:

  • Working with both executive and legislative branches to ensure a pro-gamer environment and favourable gamer media perception.
  • Intelligence gathering into what defines a Hot Gamer Girlfriend, and and how those females can be connected to the right geek.
  • Research into new roleplaying methedologies, and the creation of steady supply of potential Hot Gamer Girlfriends here in America and worldwide.
  • Continual denial of Nixon’s involvement with DoHGGA

"I salute the dedication the officals of this department have in maintaining the professional level of professionalism in their offical department work... whatever that may actually be. May they be an inspiration to all Americans."
- R. Reagan, 1982